With the Labor Day weekend behind, most of the rest of the schools in the country are starting up and those that started in August are regrouping after the holiday weekend, perhaps settling into their stride of pace and schedule. In the Sunday supplement of the Chicago Tribune was a piece on what teachers wish all parents would ask and it made me think of this power of yet as far too many parents as well as some teachers and administrators have unreasonable expectations for students.
One teacher noted she wished the parents of her students would believe more in their kids and their kids' capabilities. ". . .some parents fail to challenge or push their child academically in fear that, if their child is not successful. . . " It really doesn't matter what comes after that because the key here is what parents, teachers, and, therefore, children believe is "success." In Dr. Dweck's opening remarks she notes that a school gave students a grade of "not yet" when a student didn't pass a test.
Is success the final grade or success the actual, true, real effort the child put into learning? Is success the final grade that might be because of the work a parent did or the actual, true, real effort the child put into learning? Is success the child's understanding of what he can do well as well as the areas in which he struggles? Is success the child's development of skills and strategies to help compensate for her struggles? Is success encouraging a child to work around, behind, over, in spite of struggle because some day it might be that those struggles are no longer struggles? Or success a GPA or a grade?
Even though we seem to have plenty of business owners and hiring organizations that don't count a GPA as a mark of success, we also seem to have far too much emphasis on a grade. I'm not saying grades aren't important. For some students, they are a benchmark or evidence of their effort and their learning and legitimately so. For other students grades cloud the evidence of their effort and their learning which might be expressed in a different way.
Most parents want their kids to be successful, but they also want their kids to be happy. Part of learning is figuring out what success might look like and what happiness might feel like. While parents need to be aware of what their students are learning in school and should most definitely have conversations with teachers to find out concrete ways in which they might help their students at home, one of the most important ways that parents can help is to believe that their kids are capable of doing good work and that their time will come if they work hard and persevere, seeking to find their own path and their own way to success. And to help their kids believe in the power of yet.